Well now it is the little superheroes turn as they too say some completely random things. The difference being that neither O nor L see anything ridiculous about what are they saying.
That's the literal side of their autism showing. If you ask a silly question in superhero headquarters, you will get a very honest straight face dead pan answer. I started writing down some of O and L's doozies because they really are, in my opinion, hilarious!
O is obsessed with being 17 and she is constantly asking questions about things that she wants me to teach her when she is 17, this is one such question that took a turn for the unexpected.
O: Mum when I'm 17 can you teach me how to drive?
Me: Darling I've already said that when you are 17 I will teach you how to drive.
O: No Mum, when I'm 17, before you die, will you teach me how to drive?
I was utterly speechless. Huh, what do you know that I don't???
O's class at school were learning about Fiji for Harmony Day and O would come home each day telling us different facts and figures about Fiji, this is one!
O: Mum, in Fiji, they only live to 67, so if we lived there you wouldn't have much time left!
We took the little superheroes to a distillery for lunch and as we were walking to the outdoor play area L came out with "Oooh, that's just fancy!"
I was sitting on our office chair trying, and I emphasise trying, to check emails. L came to me and asked very politely if he could have the chair.
Me: But I am using it at the moment, you can have it after I have finished, okay?
L: You not spinning!
Me: I don't want to spin, I just want to sit in it.
L: That using it wrong!
What could I say but give him the chair!
There was an eerily quietness that had descended upon superhero headquarters so I went to try and find out what the little superheroes were up to.
Me: What are you doing?
O and L: Nothing!
Me: Is that the same kind of nothing that broke the sliding door?
O: No that was a different kind of nothing! This is just nothing.
Me thinks that they were up to something.
The little superheroes were having a shouting match in the toy room over what game to play. After they had finished I was talking to O about the shouting.
Me: Being the loudest does not make you right O!
O: Nope, but it makes me not hear him being wrong!
We were at our local shopping centre and a bald man walked past. L burst out laughing and said, very very loudly much to the amusement of those around us "Oooo he got naked head!"
L and O were tearing around the house and were starting to knock furniture over.
Me: You two are skating on thin ice at the moment.
O: We're not on skates, we're running on the floor.
Me: It's an expression.
L: No it the floor!
At one of the little superheroes swimming lessons L decided that he needed to wear swimming fins. Somehow, and I am still not sure how, he accidentally hit himself in the head with a fin while it was on his foot. L came out with "Well, that just woke me up!" Lorraine his instructor needed to compose herself before continuing the lesson!
L crawled onto Daddy Superhero's lap one morning for a cuddle and said "You don't smell funny now!
Lovely and good morning to you!
O and L were having a conversation about Daddy superhero getting old.
L: "When Daddy grows old, he get to be baby again."
O piped up with "No when Daddy gets really old, he'll lose stuff and then die."
L - "Oh!"
And play continued like nothing had ever happened, meanwhile I'm quietly laughing in the kitchen.
I went down to L's bedroom and he'd made one huge mess, there was no floor space showing so I asked him who made the mess and he replied very matter of fact "A hologram."
Me: Since when do you know what a hologram is?
L: Since I sawed one make the mess!
I was talking with L about listening to Daddy superhero when he had asked L to help tidy his room.Me: If Daddy asks you to do something then you need to do it, okay?
L: Even fart or burp or eat all the donuts?
Yep, had that one coming.
I've said it once before and I will say it again, my little superheroes are bona fide smart asses some times!!