I need to tell you something.......it's okay to sometimes NOT be okay.
I'm a Mum, a carer, a mediator, an educator, a therapist, a cook and an advocate among other things, but first and foremost, I'm a human. I have an identity.
YOU have an identity.
Don't compare yourself to anyone. You are as unique as the next person. Remember all the things that make you you. You need to give yourself time to breath, time to sit, time to be you, time to recognise that you are amazing, that you are strong.
And if people try to criticize you and your decisions, tell them to walk a mile in your shoes. Until they've done that, they have no right to tell you what you have done wrong or how to run your life or what decisions you should be making.
You are doing your best and that's the greatest achievement of all. You are giving it your all. Be proud of yourself.
So you cried, you had a meltdown, a moment. You rolled around on the ground and kicked and screamed and had a tantrum. Who gives a s###! Everyone needs a good cry every now and then. It's not healthy to withhold emotion.
People who withhold emotion have got to be the unhappiest people of all. No sorrow, no joy, no anger..........
You did what you needed to do in that moment to survive and continue on with your day. You did this because you are a fighter.
Our most basic instinct is survival and when we are faced with exhausting or difficult or traumatic circumstances, we may want to just give in. It's the Flight-Fight-Freeze Response. You may want take Flight and run away or you may want to Freeze like a deer in headlights or you may want to Fight on. We've evolved this way to alert us to danger and this response assists us to act in stressful situations.
The Flight-Fight-Freeze Response is actually pretty cool. It is almost like having superhero powers that we can activate when we need to protect ourselves or our loved ones. The tricky bit is working out which one is your fall back response.
You? You're a Fighter. You didn't give up, you stood your ground, you put your big kid panties on and fought on. You stood up for what you believe in, for what is right.
So you sought medical help in the form of happy pills. Do these help you to stay focused and think logically about what is happening around you? If the answer is yes, then you did the right thing. It doesn't make you weak, it makes you strong because you can recognise your weaknesses, you recognised that you needed help.
You did what you needed to do to keep fighting on.
Because you are a Fighter.
Say it with me "I am a Fighter!"
It would be easier to just give up. But you didn't. We all feel deeply and we all struggle but we don't give up. We get back up and we fight on.
I was once told by a wonderful, slightly crazy, very solid and very intimidating PT instructor that "it isn't the size of the dog in the fight that matters, it is the size of the fight in the dog."
This will always stick with me. I may be short in stature but don't underestimate the fight in me. Don't let people underestimate the fight in you.
I acknowledge all your struggles and your pain. I feel your pain, I have been there but I'd also like to salute the fighter that is within you.
You need to be thankful and proud for all the things that you have done that displayed courage and strength and sheer determination. And maybe stubbornness because you didn't give up!
You are a strong person - you admire others from a distance for their inner strength. But did you know that they also admire you? That they can see your inner strength? That they can see the fighter in you?
Your own worth is not measured on the number of times that you stumbled and fell.
Your own worth IS measured on all the times that you got back up and gave it another go. All the times that you let your inner fighter shine through and fought on.
Be strong, be brave and be committed to being the best version of you that you can be.
Because you are a fighter!